We all know that working with people can sometimes be difficult. We asked you to send us stories about these challenges – and how you overcame them. We received accounts of various types of annoying behavior, from those that were merely trivial to those that were seriously disrupting workplaces and impacting clients.

Clearly, this is a topic that is near and dear to much of your hearts! Here are a few of the submissions. We hope you like them.

Winner:
Chris H. tells us about how we sometimes just don’t know what is going on in a colleague’s world:

“Every time I worked my full 10-hour shift, there was one individual who would always come in with a bad attitude, ranting and raving about everyone and every thing. That attitude projected onto customers and her fellow employees. Her attitude got so bad some days that, when working with customers on the phone, she would swear under her breath, throw down her headset, and storm out of the team area -- with the customer still on the phone line.

It started to make me feel really uncomfortable about coming into work, knowing I had to sit right next to her. One day while we were both on break, I gently approached her outside the office, sat down, and started to chat about life and about things that were going on in her world. Soon, I found out that her sister was diagnosed with cancer and would soon be needing brain surgery. I was very sympathetic about the situation, and let her know that I was always there for her if she ever just wanted to chat. That response actually broke through her defenses and really calmed her down.

After that day on break, she started to lighten up in the team area. I did not notice her temper or the phone being thrown down, and the general feeling among the team members started to become much better. At this point, we are now really good friends, and, though I have left that company, I found out from others that she is doing really well and is up for a promotion.”

We received many great stories from other contestants. Here are a few we’d like to share:

• Sometimes, it doesn’t take much: “Many years ago I worked with a woman who was very judgmental and unhappy with our supervisor. She would come to my desk every morning to complain about him. When I finally told her that these conversations were making me uncomfortable, she retaliated by trying to get me into trouble at work and by being very rude whenever possible. I became very wary and on guard whenever she was around. I decided enough was enough. I had to take charge of my own thinking about the situation. My solution was to stop letting her control my emotions in a negative way. I did this by smiling whenever I saw or thought of her. At first it was extremely hard to do, but soon it became much easier. She eventually noticed, and, after a few months began smiling back. The entire atmosphere in our office changed for the better, and I even began to look forward to seeing her -- just so I could smile and get a smile in return.”

• Coaching, with respect, is important: “One of the things that tend to bother me in the workplace is employees being late for their particular shift. It is my opinion that being on time is a level of respect for others and their time. Being late even five minutes tells me that the job and or individuals aren’t as important as the employee’s time. In dealing with this issue over the last few years I have been very successful in coaching and sharing my concerns and views with these employees in a respectful manner. They have made a concerted effort to get the tardiness under control. And, other employees have appreciated their efforts.”

• Changing your approach may make a difference: “A new girl recently joined our team. I noticed that her email demeanor needed some etiquette training -- the tone was always either hostile or full of disdain. Often people are passive-aggressive and non-confrontational in these settings when we should really just communicate face-to-face and try to be decent to one another. When I take this approach and respond in a timely manner with an adequate answer, there really is no issue between us. She will always have a dry style about her and I don't have to love her to work with her, but I realize that not everyone approaches things in the same way that I would. I am sure she is using her own frame of reference from her life experience to shape her conduct, as do we all. We can't change other people, only our response to them.” Do you agree with that sentence? Email us atfeaturedstories@adamcorp.com.

• Sometimes, all it takes is a little communication: “A few years ago I worked with an individual who spoke rudely to everyone on a regular basis. She came across as arrogant, demanding, and better than everyone else. Needless to say, it made the office very uncomfortable, and most of our co-workers avoided this person. One day this coworker came into my office and asked me a question in her usual manner. My first instinct was to get into an argument with her and ‘let her have it!’ Instead, I took a deep breath, asked her to close the door, and very calmly and, as respectfully as I could, explained how her choice of words was being taken by other people in the office. I was very kind during my conversation because I didn't want to embarrass her or cause her to be defensive. She almost fell on the floor. She said she never knew that she came across that way and was truly sorry. She then said that she would stop and think first, before she spoke, to insure that she was communicating in a more respectful manner in the future. Soon, the attitude of the office changed, and this employee became one of our most beloved and admired team members. When she left to accept a promotion a few years later, she was genuinely missed and respected by everyone who knew her.
  
  
• One reader gave us an open letter to a colleague: “I sense that you portray a cruel and boring attitude toward other people. This may be a reason why you did not get a promotion even though you have many years of service. I can see why you are unhappy and do not have many friends. I would like you to feel happy and advance your career. You can change your attitude by smiling when you approach someone. You should try to understand other people’s point of view. Even though you may not agree, you can show consideration and interest in their opinions. By modifying your tone of voice and selecting more appropriate words, you can have better relationships with others. I know it is not easy to make this change, but it is to your advantage. By using this approach, a little at a time, you will see positive results. No one expects you to make this turnabout overnight. I am sure that your fellow colleagues will be willing to help you in any way they can.”

 Thanks to all who entered, and congratulations to the winner! Good luck to all in our next contest.