His emails were polished and funny. His phone voice was smooth and interesting. But when we got together, the poor guy sweated profusely and stammered through the whole conversation. It was a Meltdown at First Sight, one of the hazards, I suppose, of online dating. And it wasn’t my only disappointing encounter with online personas. On other first (and last) dates, I met a man who was -- no kidding -- half a foot shorter than he claimed in his online profile. Another, supposedly a fit, athletic type, turned out to be thin and sickly looking.

Anyone who's used Internet dating services for a few years will end up with a few war stories to tell. But if you're a busy professional with little time or inclination to patrol the bars and clubs for good companionship, you might find, as I have, that online services like Match.com, eHarmony.com, and others have a lot to offer. Used with some caution, they can certainly save you search time, put you in touch with people who have similar interests, and even help protect you from abusive people and weirdos. Used carelessly, they can do the exact opposite of all those things.

First, be clear about what you're interested in, because there are sites for every level of interest, from friendship to hook-ups to marriage, and for every orientation. There are also sites specifically geared toward different religions, age brackets, and ethnic backgrounds. Even if you think you’re in exactly the right place to find someone compatible, don’t expect immediate results, and remember that if things don't work out, there are other relationships to find. In fact, one of the more popular sites these days is called PlentyOfFish.com. War stories aside, the great majority of the men I’ve met through these services have been attractive and successful. (Those stories I’m keeping to myself.)

There's a mixture of options out there in terms of expense and involvement. Some of the sites are fee-based, but lately free sites like PlentyOfFish.com and OKCupid.com have been catching up.

On some sites, you’re on your own to explore and make contacts after you register; others actively help you, basing their matchmaking on personality profiles filled out by their members. James Houran, PhD, a psychologist and expert in online dating, has developed several online evaluations to assess compatibility. He’s a featured columnist at OnlineDatingMagazine.com, a good source of useful information for the prospective dater. In an article on that site called "The Truth About Compatibility Testing," Houran says the question whether such a test will be useful is not always simple. He sets forth lists of criteria both for deciding if a test is legitimate and whether you’d be a good candidate to take it.

My own experience with sites that use compatibility testing has been mixed. In one case, the profile produced a summary of my personality that just wasn't very accurate, which made me suspect that I would be steered to the wrong people, or at least not very well matched people. And that turned out to be true -- I never met a good match through that company in the months they sent prospects my way. In another case, the company seemed to just ignore the profile completely, and sent people who were obviously chosen at random.

Houran’s bottom-line advice is worth keeping in mind: "A compatibility test can be an effective tool for helping you learn more about yourself and cull romantic prospects… as long as it’s a legitimate, science-based product. However, compatibility tests should never be used in isolation from your common sense and intuition as you interact with prospects."

As you can imagine, with millions of people involved in online dating these days, there’s already a lot of collective wisdom about how to go about the process so that you can maximize your chances for good matches, not waste your time, and stay safe. Here are a few of my own favorite dos and don’ts, developed over the past few years.

Safety tips

1. Always proceed with caution. This is true both for women, who can be targets of sexual predators, and men, who can fall prey to scam artists, especially in the "meet foreign women" category.

2. Set up a dedicated email account with one of the free providers like Yahoo or Hotmail, and keep your online dating correspondence separate from your business and home email. Use an account name that won’t identify you.

3. Avoid giving out enough personal information to pinpoint you before you’ve had a chance to assess the prospects. Home addresses and phone numbers are very easy to track down online if a person knows one or the other. Use your cell phone to make voice contact.

4. Let your trusted friends know who you’re going to be with, where you plan to go, and when you plan to be home. On a first date, take your own transportation to the meeting place.

Before the date

1. Be honest in writing your profile, and post good-quality, recent photos. It’s really disappointing to meet someone and see immediately that they’re not what they pretended to be. Some people lie in order to get a first meeting, hoping to be able to overcome the falsehood with their charming personality. They try again and again, figuring that sooner or later they’ll have success. Not with me, they won’t!

2. Have a phone conversation or two with your prospective date. Sometimes you’ll be able to tell whether or not there’s enough of a connection to continue to the next step.

3. Don’t build up your expectations too high, and don’t let your imagination run wild in either a positive or negative way before you meet the person. Keep the pressure off the date. Just take it easy.

First date

1. Find a public, laid-back place to meet, like a casual bar or restaurant, a coffee house, or a park. Don’t bring friends along, or plan to meet up with friends later on. It’s often uncomfortable for the other person.

2. Keep the date to just a couple of hours, at most, and have a plan for another commitment in case you need to make a graceful escape. Think of this more as just a first meeting to see if you want to date this person.

3. Don’t push it. Keep things light and simple. One first date decided to "surprise" me by taking me to a wild party late at night in a tough neighborhood in town, so he could introduce me to his crowd right away. That date ended early.

Good hunting!

Elise Kelcourse is Marketing Manager at A.D.A.M., Inc., and last wrote in Synergy about the dangers of trampolines (also from experience). She would like to go on record and state she does not combine trampoline "gymnastics" with online dating. She can be reached at featuredstories@adamcorp.com.